March 18, 2010

Today's Daily Joke

International Dating Etiquette:




CAUCASIAN WOMAN from the UK-

First Date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope her all over and make out. 

Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.

CAUCASIAN WOMAN from the America-

First Date: You get a blowjob.

Second date: You get to give her anal sex. 

Third date: You're arrested because she's underage. 


 




BLACK WOMAN-

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. 

Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. 

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you! 




IRISH WOMAN-

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 




ITALIAN WOMAN-

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. 

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex. 

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend. 




JEWISH WOMAN-

First Date: You get dynamite head.

Second Date: You get more great head. 

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and she never gives you head again.




MIDDLE EASTERN WOMAN-

First Date: You fill out the mandatory family questionnaire listing all your assets. 

Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes along. 

Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you. 

Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in one night. You're rushed to a hospital from exhaustion.

LATIN WOMAN-

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on wine, have sex in the back of your car.

Second Date: She is pregnant. 

Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.




POLISH WOMAN

-
First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.

Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home. 

Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if it’s hers. 




KOREAN WOMAN
-
First Date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second Date: You buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens again.

Third Date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.




INDIAN WOMAN
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First Date: Meet her parents.

Second Date: She shaves her legs. 

Third Date: Set the date of the wedding.
Fourth Date: Wedding night.

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