Engineer - Physicist - Lawyer:
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions.
Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four."
The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?
June 3, 2009
June 2, 2009
The Daily Joke
Female Bashing:
Q. Why did God give men penises ?
A. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative ?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What are the small bumps around a womans' nipples for ?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do men die before their wives ?
A. They want to.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women ? A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.
Q. Why do women have tits ?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild ?
A. Money.
Q. Why did the army send so many women with pms to the Persian Gulf ?
A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job ?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
and finally...
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them
Q. Why did God give men penises ?
A. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative ?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What are the small bumps around a womans' nipples for ?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do men die before their wives ?
A. They want to.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women ? A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.
Q. Why do women have tits ?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild ?
A. Money.
Q. Why did the army send so many women with pms to the Persian Gulf ?
A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job ?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
and finally...
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them
June 1, 2009
The Daily Joke
Dumb:
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
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