Spelling:
A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator:
cat, dog, dad, and mom have been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" with a proud smile on his face.
"That's wonderful!" his mom praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight."
The mom happily thought that the Catholic education is certainly having an impact.
Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen.
"Mom? How do you spell SEX?"
May 5, 2010
May 4, 2010
Today's Daily Joke
Space Travel:
A Russian, an American and a Blonde were discussing space travel.
The American argued that because they were the first to put a man on the moon, America was superior in space travel.
The blonde stated her kind, were going to be far superior to Russia and America because they were going to be the first to land on the sun.
The Russian asked the blonde if she was nuts?
Didn't she know that it was impossible to land on the sun?
The American asked her just how in the hell she thought they could accomplish this considering the heat and extreme brightness of the sun.
"Well, duh!" the blonde replied. "We're going at night."
>br>
A Russian, an American and a Blonde were discussing space travel.
The American argued that because they were the first to put a man on the moon, America was superior in space travel.
The blonde stated her kind, were going to be far superior to Russia and America because they were going to be the first to land on the sun.
The Russian asked the blonde if she was nuts?
Didn't she know that it was impossible to land on the sun?
The American asked her just how in the hell she thought they could accomplish this considering the heat and extreme brightness of the sun.
"Well, duh!" the blonde replied. "We're going at night."
>br>
May 3, 2010
Today's Daily Joke
I Was Speeding:
While I was flying down the road yesterday at only 10 mph over the limit, I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about six foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."
The ticket -- $95.00 dollars.
The look on the cops face--------PRICELESS!!!!!
While I was flying down the road yesterday at only 10 mph over the limit, I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about six foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."
The ticket -- $95.00 dollars.
The look on the cops face--------PRICELESS!!!!!
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