Employee Appraisal Time:
These quotes were taken from actual employee performance appraisals ...
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"I would not allow this employee to breed"
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet"
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together"
"A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus"
"He would argue with a signpost"
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"
"If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"
"A photographic memory but with the lens over the cap"
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it"
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change"
"It's hard to believe that he beat out other sperm"
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled"
May 28, 2010
May 27, 2010
Today's Daily Joke
A Woman's Poem:
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
May 26, 2010
Today's Daily Joke
Pin Puller:
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot.
In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
In the heat the ctclinder exploded killing the fireman.
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot.
In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
In the heat the ctclinder exploded killing the fireman.
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