Today's Daily Joke:

Spring Classes for Women at 
the Adult Learning Center

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of class contents, we regret class sizes will be limited to a maximum of 8 participants, so please register early.

CLASSES:

Class 1
 Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat 
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
 Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.. 
 
Class 2
 Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? 
Round Table Discussion. 
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. 
 
Class 3 
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? Group Debate.
 Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.  
 
Class 4 
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
 Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
 
Class 5
 Curling Irons - Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
 Examples on Video.
 Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM 
 
Class 6
 How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program. 
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
 Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
 
Class 7
 Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
 Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
 
Class 8
 Health Watch - They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT! 
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  
 
Class 9 
I Was Wrong and He Was Right! - Real Life Testimonials.
 Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
 
Class 10 
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
 Driving Simulations.
 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
 
Class 11
 Learning to Live - How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
 Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
 
Class 12
 How to Shop by Yourself. 
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
 
Class 13
 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
 
Class 14
 The Stove / Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
 Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.  

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.