Two guys are drinking at a bar when one turns to the other and says,
"Right, time I was going home, the wife only lets me have 4 beers"
His friend says, "No, no, no, that'll never do. You should do what I do.
Drink as many beers as you can hold, follow that with 5 tequilas, 3 whiskeys and bourbon! Then go home, shove your head under the blanket and lick your wife’s pussy like crazy, she WONT complain ever again, trust me!"
So the first guy says "FUCK IT!!” gets tanked and wobbles home.
After he stumbles up the stairs he opens the bedroom door, and without hesitation, dives under the blanket and starts licking away!
After 5 minutes he figures "Right, best go wash up or she'll never kiss me like this all over my face."
So off to the bathroom he goes.
When he gets there he sees his wife, soaking in the bathtub reading a book.
"What the fuck!!" he shouts out real loud.
"SHUSH" whispers the wife right back to him.
"You'll wake up your mother!!"