January 21, 2010

Daily Joke

Why Older Women Are Better:

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" 

An older woman always carries a condom in her purse, but the younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. 

An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, 
but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of herbal tea. 

The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man 
gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young 
guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. 

An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking
 like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of 
 younger women or drag queens. 

Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes. 

An older woman is into free sex!

An older woman is usually 
attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about 
committing to her.

The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy,
 whiny, dependent man. 

Older women are more honest.

An older woman will tell you that you are an 
asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in
 case it means you might break up with her. 

An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the 
two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you 
 will probably be the last to know... 

Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when
 your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. 

An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you! 

Older women take charge of the situation. 

An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman 
 will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call her. 

Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take 

An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas... 

Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, 
because somehow they always know. 

Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have
 acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a 

Older women know what Kegel exercises are. 

An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger
 women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might
 possibly vomit later. 

Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with 
 you in the middle of the night in a public park. 

Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 
beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to 
grasp this fact. 

An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to screw you too. 

An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an
 amusement ride. 

An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her 
youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

An older woman doesn't care what you think.

And, the best reason of all -
Older women have money, they will pay for the date, and you still get sex with NO fucking stings attached !!!

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