Why Men Stand to Pee:
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra benefits (things) left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability.
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to... please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability.
It'd be so great!
When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals. I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand" On and on he went, Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it and she really wouldn't mind.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection while in a vertical position. And so, he was happy, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.
"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left here?
Oh yes, Multiple orgasms... Eve enjoy life's pleasures"