September 23, 2009

New Joks of the Day

Microsoft and Harley Davidson to Merge:

The Board of Directors of the Microsoft Corporation, the world's largest computer software provider, and the Harley-Davidson Motor Company, America's largest manufacturer of heavyweight motorcycles, have voted to approve a merger that will create one of the world's largest but strangest multinational corporations.

"When you think about it, it only makes sense," said Harley-Davidson Director of Communications. "We both share the same fundamental design philosophies: Our products are large, antiquated, slow, full of bugs and break down at the most unexpected moments. We like to think of this as a natural marriage as synergy."

The new company will be known as Micro-Davidson and based neither in Redmond, Washington nor Milwaukee, Wisconsin but somewhere in between. Company representatives have been scouting sites along the Wyoming/South Dakota borders. Instead of moving to an existing township, the cash-rich conglomerate plans to build its own. Micro-Davidson reps denied a rumor that they plan to petition Congress for statehood, but told Motorcycle Online that buying a few counties is not out of the question.

Micro-Davidson will trade simultaneously on both the NYSE and Nasdaq stock exchanges under the symbol WERULE. Financial details of the merger have not been made public but it is expected to be a stock for stock exchange.
Currently in the works is an entirely new motorcycle model, the first from the new M-D to be named the MicroHog. The new cruiser will be powered by a brand new engine, the Twin Cam 95.1 an air-cooled, push rod V-Twin containing an Intel Pentium IV processor that will automatically load Internet Explorer upon thumbing the starter button and overwrite all competing browsers while disabling most non-genuine Harley-Davidson parts.

Following Microsoft's example, MicroHogs will not be owned outright by the purchaser, but rather licensed for personal use. Upgrades will be available, the price of which depends on the market.

M-D's software side will receive some pointers from the former Motor Company as well. "Instead of that soft, shrill squeak you hear when you boot your computer or open a new program, you will now hear a loud rumble and your keyboard will vibrate," said a rep from Harley.

For more information, please contact The Hells Angels Public Relations Spokesperson or the nearest geek with a moped.

//// If you believed this posting you need to seek out a competent psychiatrist who rides a Yamaha and consults to Apple Computers. \\\\\

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