A Dog Named Sex:
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".
I call my dog 'Sex.'
Sex has been embarrassing to me.
When I went to City Hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said he would like one too.
Then I said, "But this is a dog."
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand. I have had Sex since I was 9 years old."
He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the place was for sex.
I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets.
"But you don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was separated, Sex left me.
He said "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked me, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning."
I said, "I am looking for Sex."
My case comes up on Friday.