The Sex Tour:
While on a Far East "sex tour," a businessman parties with some really skanky Thai hookers.
Upon his return, he's horrified to discover his penis is black and green and oozing pus.
He goes to his family doctor who takes one look and says: "I'm sorry, your penis will have to be amputated."
Wanting a second opinion, the businessman goes to a specialist in venereal diseases who takes one look, gasps in disgust, and says "I'm sorry, your penis will have to be amputated."
Desperate, the man goes to a Chinese herbalist and says: "please help me. The doctors are telling me I have to have my penis amputated!"
The wise old Chinese examines the man, clucks his tongue, and says: "Those Western doctor they only interested in money! You no need amputation!"
Immensely relieved, the man says: "I don't?"
The Chinese Doctor says, "No! You wait ten day, dick fall off all by itself!"