July 20, 2010

Today's Daily Joke

Murphy's Police Laws:

1. Bullet Proof' vests aren't.

2. The speed at which you respond to a fight call 
is inversely proportional to how long you've been 
a cop.

3. High-speed chases will always proceed from an 
area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy 

4. If you know someone who tortures animals and 
wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works 
for Internal Affairs. 

5. Flash suppressors don't really.

6. If you have 'cleared' all the rooms and met no 
resistance, you and your entry team have probably 
kicked in the door of the wrong house. 

7. Domestic arguments will always migrate from an 
area of few available weapons (living room), to an 
area with many available weapons (kitchen). 

8. If you have just punched out a handcuffed 
prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to 
become a star on `Eyewitness News'. 

9. When a civilian sees a red light approaching 
at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into 
the lane the cop needs to use. 

10. If you drive your patrol car to the geometric 
center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes 
some dumb civilian will pull along side you and 
ask for directions.

11. You can never drive slow enough to please 
the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can 
never drive fast enough to please the ones who 

12. From behind you, the bad guys can see your 
night sights as well as you can.

13. The longer you've been a cop, the shorter 
your flashlight and your temper gets. 

14. Whatever you are about to do, if there is a 
good chance it will get you killed, you probably 
shouldn't do it. 

15. You should never do a shotgun search of a 
dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is 

16. The better you do your job, the more likely you 
are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, 
investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off. 

17. If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in 
a house, the Department will send one officer in a 
beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, 
they will send the entire S. W. A. T. Team.

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