Today's Daily Joke

My Dick Is So Big:

My dick is so big, it's sleeping.
My dick is so big, it has it’s own Zip Code.
My dick is so big, it has to be wheeled in on a fort lift at the sperm bank.
My dick is so big, James Bond is using it as a secret weapon in his next movie.
My dick is so big, that when I fucked my wife her mother got pregnant.
My dick is so big, they named a frozen yogurt after it, Creamy Sticky Custard Curd.
My dick is so big, that people stand under to get out of the rain.
My dick is so big, the U.S. Marines used it as a super cannon in the last Iraq War.
My dick is so big, they want to display it at the Olympics.
My dick is so big, that when I was young my momma used it to make sour mash whiskey.
My dick is so big, that Britney Spears wants to use it in her next MTV video.
My dick is so big, that J-Lo can’t marry anyone, she can’t get it out of her mind ever since she saw it.
My dick is so big, the last time I masturbated I was fined for disturbing the peace.
My dick is so big, I used it for a car jack to change my flat tire.
My dick is so big, that all the young girls give me candy just to play with it.
My dick is so big, I once killed a Grizzly Bear with it.
My dick is so big, it has tonsils.
My dick is so big, it can only be measured in theory.
My dick is so big, it has a horizon.
My dick is so big, I can fuck the ocean.
My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off.
My dick is so big, FedEx won't insure it.
My dick is so big it was impeached by Congress
My dick is so big, it's got its own gang sign.
My dick is so big, it could eat a horse.
My dick is so big, Florida had to measure it twice.
My dick is so big, it snubbed the Oscars.
My dick is so big, it has gaskets.
My dick is so big, it has a north pole
My dick is so big, it killed its ex-wife and got away with it
My dick is so big, I rent it out for Weddings and Bar-Mitzvahs.
My dick is so big, it's not just famous, it’s Infamous.
My dick is so big, it has a stunt double.
My dick is so big, you must be at least 48" tall to ride.
My dick is so big, that I look like its dick in front of it!
My dick is so big, one side never sees the sun - it's the dark side of my dick.
My dick is so big, it has a vanity plate.
My dick is so big, It needs a car wash to get cleaned.
My dick is so big, it has a nucleus.
My dick is so big, it has a drink named after it. It's called Slow Gin Dick.
My dick is so big, that there's not enough earth to bury me in.
My dick is so big, "Oh Yeah" is its theme song.
My dick is so big, compasses do not function properly around it.
My dick is so big, it was framed for murder as part of an intricate prescription drug scandal.
My dick is so big, the Pope has blessed it.
My dick is so big, Al Gore invited it to the Whitehouse to embarrass Clinton.
My dick is so big, it’s making a guest appearance on the History Channel.
My dick is so big, premature ejaculation takes ninety minutes.
My dick is so big, it was on a Wheaties box.
My dick is so big, the Romans named their God, Simplyvs Hvges Giganticvs Erectia Dickvs, after it.
My dick is so big, it has a commemorative stamp.
My dick is so big, it has its own entourage.
My dick is so big, I have to sell it wholesale.
My dick is so big, it has stretch marks.
My dick is so big, it's wanted in nine states, and Canada.
My dick is so big, it's getting its own State Quarter.
My dick is so big, it sleeps with one eye open.
My dick is so big, they cold run the Indy 500 on it, with no turns.
My dick is so big, it has training wheels.
My dick is so big, someone once used it as a lifeline on, "Who wants to be a Millionaire?"
My dick is so big, my erections cause a total eclipse.
My dick is so big, black people be sayin' he got a big ass dick.
My dick is so big, I use it to spear fish.
My dick is so big, VH1 did a "Behind the Music" about it.
My dick is so big, when I get aroused, the Earth develops an elliptical orbit!
My dick is so big, it's in a boy band with four other big dicks.
My dick is so big, it's a government scapegoat.
My dick is so big, it has its own seat in Congress.
My dick is so big, it's worshipped as a Pagan God.
My dick is so big, I can change channels without the remote.
My dick is so big, I can smuggle 14 kilos of crack, 9 stolen cars, and 5 illegal immigrants across the border in it.
My dick is so big it sank the Titanic.
My dick is so big, it's the opening act for KISS's farewell tour.
My dick is so big, the government is suing it for anti-trust violation.
My dick is so big, it went condo.
My dick is so big, if I were a porn star, I could only do movies in wide screen cinema.
My dick is so big, it has its own fraternity, Delta Theta Cock.
My dick is so big, it has an ego.
My dick is so big, it has its own line of hip hop clothing.
My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.
My dick is so big, it won the Nobel Peace Prize.
My dick is so big, Scott Adams writes a cartoon about it. It's called "Dickbert."
My dick is so big, it played Daddy Warbucks on Broadway.
My dick is so big, it gives me an allowance.
My dick is so big, it's a tax write-off.
My dick is so big, it's a bouncer at The Boiler Room.
My dick is so big, it's sectional.
My dick is so big, the man always be tryin' to keep it down.
My dick is so big, it hangs out on the set of "Friends."
My dick is so big, I can play mailbox baseball while driving.
My dick is so big, Alan Greenspan uses it to raise interest rates.
My dick is so big, I decorate it at Christmas time.
My dick is so big, if I didn't sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.
My dick is so big, the doctor had to use a chainsaw to circumcise me.
My dick is so big, Calvin Klein named a fragrance after it. It's called CK My Dick!
My dick is so big, I have to use a complex irrigation system just to take a piss.
My dick is so big, it used to be a Harlem Globetrotter.
My dick is so big, it stormed the beach at Normandy.
My dick is so big, it affects the weather.
My dick is so big, it's my boss.
My dick is so big, it gets manicures.
My dick is so big, it has an axle.
My dick is so big, it has a brain.
My dick is so big, it has a reinforced foundation.
My dick is so big, many consider it the Eighth Wonder of the World.
My dick is so big, girls call it Santa Claus.
My dick is so big, it has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
My dick is so big, it can stand up.
My dick is so big, I can fuck a volcano.
My dick is so big, I have to stow it in the overhead bin on planes.
My dick is so big, it has it's own time zone - central dick time.
My dick is so big, it has it was recently split into two area codes.
My dick is so big, it's an element.
My dick is so big, it could feed Ethiopia for a month.
My dick is so big, it has a moon.
My dick is so big, it’s famous for inventing the Internet Cntrl Alt Delete Key.
My dick is so big, it’s in the Who’s Who of VIP’s, Very Important Penis.