Lost His Wallet:
A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, low and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification.
Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by a Mexican Customs Agent at the Tijuana border.
"May I see your identification, por favor, señor?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.
"Si, amigo, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border," said the agent.
"But I can prove that I'm an American!" he exclaimed.
"I have a picture of Bill Clinton tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of Hillary Clinton tattooed on the other."
"This I must see," replied the agent.
With that, the American dropped his pants and bent over in front of the agent.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you're right!" exclaimed the agent.
"Have a safe trip back to Chicago, Senor."
"Thanks!" he said. "But why do you think I'm from Chicago ?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Barack Obama in the middle!