October 27, 2009

The New Joks of the Day

Bear:



In this life I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.


When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.


Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.


When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.


You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.


If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.


He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Yup...gonna be a bear.

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