Today's Daily Joke

Alternate Meanings
:

The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which
 they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
The
 following were some of the winning entries:
 


1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
 gained.


3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
 stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent


6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
 absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.


7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after
 you are run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
 proctologist immediately before he examines you.


13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
 Yiddish expressions.


14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.


15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your
 soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.


16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist