In The Old London Pub:
These three lads are drinking in a pub when this guy comes in and starts drinking at the bar.
After a while the guy goes up to the group of young fellas, points at the one in the middle and says, in a drunken slur, "I've shagged your Mum."
The three lads look bewildered and the bloke goes back to drinking at the bar. Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, "Your Mum has sucked my penis."
The three lads try and ignore him and he goes back to the bar.
After another ten minutes he comes back and shouts, "I've had your Mum up the ass."
By now the lads have had enough and the one in the middle stands up and says, "Look, Dad, you're pissy ass drunk. Now fuck off and go home."